Top 9 Reasons Why I Hate Lists!

19 Jun

The other day I realized I had caught a bug, an online virus, and I’m ashamed to admit it. I’m a sucker for top item’s lists! When I was kid I’d only see them every other week on a quality and trusted David Letterman program… but they’ve grown, they’ve multiplied and poisoned the blogosphere. They used to come in the form of top ten lists, but don’t let them fool you, they also go by the names:

‘TheTop 5’ list
‘The Top Reasons Why’ list
‘The 4 Best things to avoid’ list
‘Eight things you can’t live without’ list
Even the corny: ‘6.5 reasons to do this’ list – Really? If you have half a reason, aka not a full reason, should that really have made the list at all????

Well I have noticed that this sickening trend that curdles my online palette at night, is affecting me. And because I suffer from this horrible disease: Double U Tripled Listis-Clickanitus i.e. those that click on top ten links in excitement, and find themselves disgruntled at 90% of the bullets all of the time, well for you I have developed my own antidote. Here’s my own attempt at a cure while using a classic cliché!

Top 9 Reasons Why I hate lists! List

Top 9 Flush

  1. Just because you put numbers next to ideas, does not make your subjective ideas any more valid!

  2. They gloss over subjects, never covering the subtle yet integral details

  3. Lists are way over used; it was cute when Dave Letterman used them but now they’re viral vomit

  4. People use them to sound more scientific and exact, when in fact 98% of list making is public opinion (Fact: this is public opinion)

  5. No one has list conversations in real life… when you ask a friend how they’re doing, does anyone say: “Top 5 things I’ve done today”? NO! So why do we do it online or via blogs…. shameless!

  6. When read fast they have a un fluid, halting, sort of sound as if, we’ve all, turned into, William, Shatner!

  7. They have a tendency to oversimplify things

  8. Being that lists are also overused in every  textbook I’ve ever read, it’s just another sign that we have failed to cut our academic umbilical cords

  9. Everyone knows that the first and last bullets are always the best, the rest is just filler

    9.5 – Finally, The worst thing about…

So if any of this hits a nerve, I say be wary of any titles that have the words: Top, Best, or simply a Number… chances are you might be reading a list!!!!

DD

PS. You can List your concerns below 😉

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